Grief and Relationship Changes
When we think of grief, we often associate it to the experience of death or a health crisis. However, grief is an experience that often weaves throughout many facets of our lives. When thinking about relationships, major changes or betrayals in a relationship can spark deep emotional wounds where symptoms of grief are mixed with loss of trust, blurred identity, and feelings of insecurity. These are all natural emotional responses to a relationship wound.
Grief from a betrayal or change in a relationship can be a complex experience. Understanding not only the end of the current relationship, the present, but also examining the past history and envisioned future are all part of relationship grief. You may find yourself in stages of grief that feel overwhelming and endless.
What are Signs of Grief?
Sometimes when we walk through a non-death event, it can be hard to recognize the signs that we are grieving the loss of something of importance and value. Being aware of these signs can be helpful in understanding what your body is going through as you begin the hard work of processing loss or betrayal. Here are a few signs of grief:
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- Intense emotional turmoil
Feelings of sadness, anger, or guilt may become overwhelming to the point where you feel disconnected with yourself. Fear and anxiety are also major indicators of a grief response where you don’t feel the ability to move forward for fear of re-experiencing loss.
2. Emotional numbness and detachment
Sometimes when we endure intense and overwhelming emotions, the body may jump into self-protection mode by shutting down emotion or even dissociating. While this can be a protection, it is not a long-term solution to integrating the grief you have experienced into an emotionally healthy life.
3. Difficulty with emotional regulation
As with the emotional intensity, there may be signs of inability to manage these emotions. Sudden outbursts of laughter, intense turns to sadness, or irritability can be signs that there are distressing emotions you are having difficulty processing.
4. Physical symptoms
Our bodies and our emotions are intertwined. Grief can manifest in our bodies in ways that we may not associate with the emotional wounds we experience. Fatigue, appetite change, headaches, restlessness; all of these are often experienced during times of grief and loss.
What Can be Done to Help?
The road to healing is based on each individual and their specific needs. Remember, your experiences are your own and that means that healing will look different for each person. Finding an individual or couples therapist to help you process the grief, building community support with friends and family, consulting with other medical professionals, and practicing self-care are all important steps to help you along your journey.
Final Thoughts and Resources
Gaining support is vital to any form of grief recovery and we at the BTRC recognize that each need is unique. Below are some resources that may help:
- Bellevue Trauma Recovery Center (BTRC): We provide trauma-informed professional help for betrayal trauma, infidelity recovery, PTSD, and more. Reach out to us for personalized support via email at hello@thebtrc.com or call our office at 425-616-1261.
- Betrayal Trauma Therapy Groups: Joining a specialized therapy group creates a safe space to connect with others facing similar challenges and help you build a strong support network.
- Books on How We Experience Grief: Explore titles like The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk or It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine.
- Online Support Communities: Platforms such as Betrayal Trauma Recovery support networks or local forums offer connection and shared experiences.
- Self-Care Apps: Apps like Calm or Insight Timer can help with mindfulness and emotion regulation.
If you feel you need some support around grief and relationships, please reach out to us here at the BTRC. You can email our administrative team for a free 15 minute consultation at hello@thebtrc.com