Sexual health is an essential part of our lives, yet it’s often a topic surrounded by misinformation, stigma, and uncertainty. Many of us did not receive adequate sexual health education from our parents or school system, so we’re left to fill in the blanks and navigate partnered sex with very little information. This can lead many of us to feel as though our relationship with our bodies and our experience of sexual pleasure is a mystery, which can significantly impact how confidently we navigate sexual spaces.
In this post, we will explore the six principles of sexual health, developed by my mentor, Doug Braun-Harvey of the Harvey Institute in California. We will also talk about sexual pleasure and why it is important to remember sexual pleasure in sexual health conversations. Let’s dive into these key concepts:
What are the Six Principles of Sexual Health?
For this post, I will refer to the definition of sexual health principles as defined by Doug Braun- Harvey. The six principles of sexual health are “a set of minimum ground rules upon which each person can come to know their own specific individual vision of their personal sexual health” (Braun-Harvey, 2009). These six principles encourage us to explore our understanding of the balance between sexual safety and sexual pleasure while ensuring our sexual rights.
1. Consent is the concept of voluntary co-operation between yourself and sexual partners, and it is the most universal sexual health principle on the planet. Consent is an active, ongoing process throughout all sexual encounters – it is a clear verbal indication that is given to say to another person “I want this experience to have an effect on me that I
desire, and I want you to provide it for me.” All countries, societies, cultures, and laws have some framework for determining when a sexual experience is desired or wanted and when it is not. In many kink and sex-positive spaces, consent is often defined as “an ongoing, enthusiastic YES.”
When consent is not present in sexual spaces, it takes the act of sex from an act of transformation to an act of intrusion and violation. When consent is not sought or given, children and adults are forced into sexual experiences that they do not desire or want.
2. Non-exploitation refers to sexual encounters when one person attempts to exert power and control over another individual to get the outcome they want, which removes another person’s ability to give their full consent for sex.
If we are experiencing sexual exploitation we may feel that we are forced to either go along with another person’s sexual desires, or say no and face more significant consequences, up to and including physical harm. A person who is less mentally capable or cognitively impaired may be sexually exploited, and intoxication by a substance is often used as an “excuse” to cross the line into sexually exploitative behavior.
In relationships, sexual exploitation may often look like moments when previous sexual agreements between partners are unilaterally changed by one person within the relationship (often referred to as cheating, “stepping out” on the relationship, affair, infidelity, or betrayal). The exploitation comes in the hiding of actions and withholding of information, which betrays the other partner’s trust.
3. Honesty requires that we are open to the concepts of sexual experience, sexual pleasure, and sex education, both with ourselves and with others. Without honesty, sexual relationships lack the strong foundational communication upon which they can build the rest of the sexual health principles. Each of us is responsible to determine our
own understanding of honesty about sex and sexuality with ourselves, our partners, our medical providers, and our community.
4. Shared Values are the spaces in which two or more individuals find common sexual standards and ethics. Some examples of sexual values include first time sexual activity, how to enter into sexual relationships, how visible to make your gender identity, sexual relationship diversity, specific sexual acts and turn-ons. I like to think of the concept of shared values like a Venn diagram – my sexual values are one circle, a sexual partner’s sexual values are another circle, and using the sexual health principles, we have conversations which help us understand where and how much those circles overlap.
5. Prevention of Unplanned/Unwanted Pregnancy and Sexually-Transmitted Infections (STI’s) is the sexual health principle that reminds us of the balance between sexual pleasure and sexual health. Do you know your STI status? Are you living with an STI? Do you know how to communicate your health status to others? Do you know your
options for preventing unplanned/unwanted pregnancies? It is important that we remember that people with ovaries have absolutely no control over their eggs, while men are able to control where their sperm is released. This idea
reminds us that the most important place to practice responsibility and place the burden of responsibility for unwanted or unplanned pregnancies is on those who can control where they ejaculate.
6. Pleasure is the primary motivation for us to seek out solo-sexual activity (masturbation) and partnered sex with others, and it is the sexual health principle which is most often forgotten or de-centered in sexual health conversations. Remember that sexual health is the balance between sexual pleasure and sexual health, so pleasure is integral to sex! For our entire lives we are on a journey on constantly discovering the evolution of our
sexual pleasure with curiosity, and the six principles of sexual health can support us in this curious exploration with the reminder of our sexual health and sexual rights.
Sexual pleasure can sometimes feel in conflict with other parts of our private or public identity, and very often judgments can complicate our curious exploration of the differences between what we expect to find pleasurable and the erotic demands of our desires.
In future blogs, I will talk about strategies which can help us to suspend judgments and help us to maintain curiosity when exploring our understanding of what we find pleasurable about sex.
Where do we go from here?
After learning about the six principles of sexual health, you may find that your curiosity about your sexual life has been reignited, and if that is the case, I am so pleased! My hope is that these six principles can offer guidance to start the conversation with yourself, whether by engaging in research such as reading books or listening to podcasts, using creative outlets such as journaling or creating a vision board, or seeking out safe spaces to discuss with someone you trust, such as a medical professional or a therapist.
In future blogs, we will talk about how you can have a conversation with yourself and begin to practice these sexual health conversations with sexual partners. Remember that your sexual life and your sexual pleasure is a beautiful, unique, and ever-evolving part of your life, and these six principles can serve as your guiding light on your lifelong journey to explore with confidence.
If you would like to learn more please reach out to us here at the BTRC!